Inspired by Mehfuz
Early morning incense stick smoke, those sounds from the local radio getting louder with the growing din. Reluctance to get up from the dreamy bed, reluctance to enter a real world. Dream again. Don’t give up. You gotta live again. An outside shot of the street from behind the window grid. Door hai taro mein tere sapne to kya. No one will stop you, the sky. The earth. Come on now. Keep the faith. I still could hear the shehnai from the evening that I saw you clad like a bride. I could almost see you coming towards me; I dressed like a prince too. Dream again. Never give up. Chak de. Hans de. Jee ke dikha. That long queue on Mother Dairy. That rush for getting the spot behind ‘her’ in the long and pleasant wait for my turn. Khoya hai tu kahaan. Jo hua so hua. Tere aansoon lakh lakh takaa dein. You are the hope. You are the reason. I am not going to school today. I love seeing my classmates going to school, while sipping the morning tea standing on the balcony in the morning sun in my pyjamas. I will put the TV on probably after that, and sleep after that, probably. I don’t want to decide what I want to do. Dream again. Dad will leave for office in a while. Mom will scold me again for lack of sufficient sickness to miss school. I will catch a film on TV, a film about aliens, and space ships, and lost space missions, and artificial intelligence, a film which I never knew before. Dream again. Never give up. You gotta live again. Jee ke dikha. The sleep is saturated now. Its gonna be 2 pm, time for school ki chhutti. And time for mom to come back from Sharma’s aunty’s house. Oh now I can see my classmates coming back from school. They look tired. What fun! “Hey Ajay! What happened in the Math class? I was a little sick so decided to skip school, besides I didn’t want to get punished for the tenth time for the same math problem” jee ke dikha.
Haar na maan na. Time to catch up on a daily serial that started last Monday. It comes daily! People say it’s called a soap. Weird. How can you watch the same people everyday. But come to think of it, I am seeing mom dad and didi for so long now! Even they might think the same about me. chalo, the boring soap is over now. Lets go to Ajay’s place and gain some sympathy from Aashi, Ajay’s sister. After all, I am sick yaar! Haar na maan na. Then we will play cricket and I will not bowl, only take my batting which is pending from yesterday. After all I am sick yaar! Beeti nu mitti paa. Today I will have some fun. No running towards the boundary line on that hot turf. No getting hit five times in an over by Rohan. Today he will bowl. After all I am sick.
Oh my god! I broke Malhotra aunty’s window glass yet again. I am not bothered about the glass actually. I am worried about the ball because it was mine and it will never come back. Aunty will keep it and give it to her Chunnu. And he will tease me and make faces at me all the time now. No cricket for today now.
Park View Apartments is so boring man. I wish we stayed in Sahyadri Apartments in the next block. Everything is beautiful there- the garden, the skating rink, the girls!
Since the time I decided not to think of you, I have missed you more than ever before. Ya I know I saw you with Rahul the other day in Jwaala Hedi but it might be just a one off case. I know you will fight with him one of these days. Then who will listen to your side of the tale? No I am not smiling. I simply know how things go with guys like Rahul. They don’t even know how many girls like you come and go in their lives. And here I am, looking out my window, every evening down at the sidewalk, watching you go to meet him. Tu bewafaa. I saw you yesterday in a lemon suit with a sky blue dupatta. You never looked so good. If I would like to think about you ten years from now, I would like to think of you wearing that lemon suit with the sky blue dupatta. I do not know what passes slower- the evening or the time. Few people have gathered in the garden below for evening walk but no hint of you. I can’t read into my book any longer. These diagrams of animal and plant cell are becoming alive and beginning to scare me now. May I should get my star map now, now that I think you would not come. And here comes my great neighbour, Vikas, for no reason at all on the terrace except for hurting me by laughing at my futility. He doesn’t need to say anything to hurt him. The moment I hear his chappals climbing upstairs and bang opening their noisy metal door, I know I should be pretending to look busy. From tomorrow, I will get my guitar upstairs. Or probably the walkman. See I forgot looking at the garden. Do I see you? Umm…where are you…..i can see all the regular faces but you. May be it’s a bad day. Annoying Vikas is still staring at me. no, I am not gonna drop in my occasional Hi at him. Let him stare at me for as long as eternity, for all I care. Anyways, soon I will hear his mom shouting his name out loud from down below. Ha! Then I will have a secret laugh.
I forgot you. Probably not. remember there used to be a girl you used to come to learn guitar from me. ya I know why you are smiling. She only came for two days. But the point is not that. The point is that she came AGAIN! And who can forget the funny cycle she used to ride on to come here, and the way mom used to stare at her. The second day, mom made tea for us! That was the heights. It was so embarrassing! Probably that was the reason that drove her away from me. be it some reason or the other, girls always run away from me. and remember Shilpi? The girl with a prettier elder sister, whom I used to force didi to talk and hang out with. But did was so dumb. She used to talk to Anamika, but never took me along to her place, so that I could get to see a glimpse of Shilpi and probably drop that illusive Hi. Had I gone on did’s assurance, I would have to wait for Shilpi’s marriage to visit her house. Thankfully, for the class assignment, I had a reason to go to her place! I put on my favorite and best white pullover. I thought I really looked smart in it. And oh my god! That was some day! I ring their bell and there I see Shilpi and her sister standing there and smiling at me, as if all this was planned, and only I was kept unaware of that intentionally.
Haar na maan na. Time to catch up on a daily serial that started last Monday. It comes daily! People say it’s called a soap. Weird. How can you watch the same people everyday. But come to think of it, I am seeing mom dad and didi for so long now! Even they might think the same about me. chalo, the boring soap is over now. Lets go to Ajay’s place and gain some sympathy from Aashi, Ajay’s sister. After all, I am sick yaar! Haar na maan na. Then we will play cricket and I will not bowl, only take my batting which is pending from yesterday. After all I am sick yaar! Beeti nu mitti paa. Today I will have some fun. No running towards the boundary line on that hot turf. No getting hit five times in an over by Rohan. Today he will bowl. After all I am sick.
Oh my god! I broke Malhotra aunty’s window glass yet again. I am not bothered about the glass actually. I am worried about the ball because it was mine and it will never come back. Aunty will keep it and give it to her Chunnu. And he will tease me and make faces at me all the time now. No cricket for today now.
Park View Apartments is so boring man. I wish we stayed in Sahyadri Apartments in the next block. Everything is beautiful there- the garden, the skating rink, the girls!
Since the time I decided not to think of you, I have missed you more than ever before. Ya I know I saw you with Rahul the other day in Jwaala Hedi but it might be just a one off case. I know you will fight with him one of these days. Then who will listen to your side of the tale? No I am not smiling. I simply know how things go with guys like Rahul. They don’t even know how many girls like you come and go in their lives. And here I am, looking out my window, every evening down at the sidewalk, watching you go to meet him. Tu bewafaa. I saw you yesterday in a lemon suit with a sky blue dupatta. You never looked so good. If I would like to think about you ten years from now, I would like to think of you wearing that lemon suit with the sky blue dupatta. I do not know what passes slower- the evening or the time. Few people have gathered in the garden below for evening walk but no hint of you. I can’t read into my book any longer. These diagrams of animal and plant cell are becoming alive and beginning to scare me now. May I should get my star map now, now that I think you would not come. And here comes my great neighbour, Vikas, for no reason at all on the terrace except for hurting me by laughing at my futility. He doesn’t need to say anything to hurt him. The moment I hear his chappals climbing upstairs and bang opening their noisy metal door, I know I should be pretending to look busy. From tomorrow, I will get my guitar upstairs. Or probably the walkman. See I forgot looking at the garden. Do I see you? Umm…where are you…..i can see all the regular faces but you. May be it’s a bad day. Annoying Vikas is still staring at me. no, I am not gonna drop in my occasional Hi at him. Let him stare at me for as long as eternity, for all I care. Anyways, soon I will hear his mom shouting his name out loud from down below. Ha! Then I will have a secret laugh.
I forgot you. Probably not. remember there used to be a girl you used to come to learn guitar from me. ya I know why you are smiling. She only came for two days. But the point is not that. The point is that she came AGAIN! And who can forget the funny cycle she used to ride on to come here, and the way mom used to stare at her. The second day, mom made tea for us! That was the heights. It was so embarrassing! Probably that was the reason that drove her away from me. be it some reason or the other, girls always run away from me. and remember Shilpi? The girl with a prettier elder sister, whom I used to force didi to talk and hang out with. But did was so dumb. She used to talk to Anamika, but never took me along to her place, so that I could get to see a glimpse of Shilpi and probably drop that illusive Hi. Had I gone on did’s assurance, I would have to wait for Shilpi’s marriage to visit her house. Thankfully, for the class assignment, I had a reason to go to her place! I put on my favorite and best white pullover. I thought I really looked smart in it. And oh my god! That was some day! I ring their bell and there I see Shilpi and her sister standing there and smiling at me, as if all this was planned, and only I was kept unaware of that intentionally.
posted by humanprojector at 5:20 PM
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